Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We don't watch enough power rangers
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
