1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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