For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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