oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
