The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
