First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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