Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

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(631): View more from New York

If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

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(949): View more from California

if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics

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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(618): View more from Illinois

i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

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(209): View more from California

Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?

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