Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
