Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
