Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
