We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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