Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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