Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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