my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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