i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
