How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
