well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
