Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
