absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
