Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
