I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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