i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
