I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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