smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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