Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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