I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
