its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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