Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
