Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
