dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
