i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
