Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
