holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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