well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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