nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
