I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
