..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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