I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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