What a fucking waste of an outfit
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
