she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
