I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
