I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
