i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
