you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
