Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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