Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
