Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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