I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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