She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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