No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
